The Aroma

 As someone who smoked cigars I find myself at time thinking about it but not in the sense of addiction. Just in the great aromas. I bought one recently with the intent of smoking it. but Its on my desk, never been lit but I'm just enjoying the aroma it leaves in the room. 

I wonder if someone has capitalized on this yet. This can be like any other scented product. I'm a guy that likes flavors cigars so the tobacco plus flavor can be something for those of us who smoke for the aroma and not any other reason. I can say personally if I could get the cigar scent. I might not need to smoke it. 

Just something I thought about this morning as I smell this cigar on my desk. 

TDay 2022

 Well this is the morning after Thanksgiving. I survived. Yesterday was a continuation of the years that have passed. No visitors, I had a few invites but I didn't go. Not because I didn't care to be around them. It wasn't from the people I wanted to hear from. Confirming what's in my mind, this is time I continue to move on. 

I wasn't going to cook but some friends on Facebook commented on a post and I began to feel this presence tell me to do what I feel. So I went to the store. Figured I get a ham, not really a turkey guy. The 3 hams that were left were high priced. I have to consider money since I'm in the crunch I'm in now. So I went to look at the pork loins. Good size, nice price, I bought one. Already have everything at home for Mac n Cheese. I saw the Pepperidge Farm 12 oz back of cornbread stuffing and got that over the, ugh, stove top stuffing. 

So I got what I needed, went home and mustard crusted the pork loin and put it in the oven. I figured I would take care of that Thanksgiving eve than get up in the morning and do it. Finished that let it cool, cut a couple of pieces to make sandwich, delicious. The best pork loin I even fixed, tender and juicy, perfectly cooked. 

The next morning I woke up took my mustard green I fixed the week before bagged in quart freezer bags so I can take them out when i wanted them thaw them and heat them up on a pot. Next I made my gravy, I didn't have chicken broth but of course I had water and bullion power. So I made the gravy with a slurry (water and cornstarch) and Worcestershire sauce. At first I put too much chicken bullion in the water so it was salty. I had to pour some off and add more water but I got it working. At the end after I put the slurry in and added some butter the smooth it out. My gravy was done for now. 

Now its time for the stuffing. I cut up my celery and onion put it int the pot with butter. Got that going then added chicken broth. Now its time to add the stuffing. Well when I added it the water just seem to suck up in the bottom and the stuffing on the top was still dry. So I had a kettle with hot water and put enough in the moisten the top. Then i looked at it and said to myself this isn't enough. Grabbed a glass pan out of the cabinet put the stuffing in after buttering the bottom and put it in the oven. I put the greens in a small cast iron put and put it in the oven with the stuffing. 

next the pork I fixed yesterday. I sliced half of it yesterday before I put it in the fridge so I took those pieces out put them in a small glass pan, put some gravy in it and put it in the oven also. 

Lastly is my Mac and Cheese. Now I grab the box of Mac and Cheese from the shelf with no intention of using the pasta in the box. I had my own. I started my pot with water and salt. got my pasta going. Took the starter pack out of the box and put it on the table. Got my milk in order. When the pasta was done I put it together with some other cheeses I had. Looking good, but of course that voice said to me again. Get another glass pan and put that in the oven also. I did and that is that. 

When I finished cooking it was about the 30 minutes before the first game. So I set up my place in the living room. Turned on the TV and prepared my plate. It was about the middle of the first quarter. 

As I sat down with my plate I looked to my right, the picture here shows what I saw. So you know Adora got some cause there is no way I eat and she doesn't. 

I watched the game until it watched me. I at least caught the good ending of the first game. Detroit came to play they aren't quite there yet but I see them becoming a team to beat. 

I got seconds by the Dallas/NYG game. We went to sleep around the 3rd quarter and I woke up with 3 mins left in the game. 

With the Vikings/Pats game starting I went into the back room. Surprisingly Adora didn't immediately follow me. I guess she was comfortable with the soothing Christmas lights I set up during the first game. 

I got a few calls and chatted quite a bit. Some thing I needed and really wanted. 

In the end, game over leftovers put up, I went to bed. A nice day.

Almost a year.

 

Thanksgiving is the last holiday before my grandmother went into hospice in 2018. Thanksgiving is the next to last holiday I spent with my mother. This time of the year is usually festive and a time to get together. For me not so much. 

We have always been about each other. So we didn't go do the rounds and visit and not a lot of people visited us. I have no idea why I just know its always been. When I was younger I always wanted to throw a party for my birthday or just have people over on the 4th. The few times it happened it either turned out ok or it was a lot of no-shows. 

My mother and I had conversations about it. Seems like we both wanted to entertain but never really could. So we just leaned in to being around each other. When my granny passed in 2018, my mother ended up in the hospital two days before my granny passed in hospice. I spent from December to April going back and forth to the hospital. I didn't have a lot of help, the help I got God saw that they were there when I needed them. 

When my mother came back home in April 2019 she wasn't the same. I tried to encourage her. I said we will get things together and get a wheelchair accessible vehicle and start traveling around visiting places and people. Little did I know the undertaking it was just to do the daily things. So I never achieved that before she passed. 

When she passed last December even though I did everything in my power to take care of her I felt I failed. I was depressed and hurt that I didn't do more. I was hurt that people I though cared were not here with me. I just shut down and figured this is my job to do and just started to work. OF course God always puts people in my path along the way to get me to where I need to be. I always appreciate those people who reached out to me and give me that helping hand. 

I think the worse part of all of this is I don't get to wake up, walk in the front and have my morning conversations with my mother. i wake up to a quiet dark house. its my house though and I wish to fill it with future good times and good people. Its the only way to continue. For now I'll have to deal with what I got and keep remembering what I want in my future and keep working towards it.

I want to run this how I run this!

 

 I've been on Paltalk since 2005 when i injured myself and had some time off. It was a great place to interact with people. I soon found myself DJn in paltalk rooms, having fun and even started my own little room. 

As time went on Paltalk implimented a web client for the Linux and Mac users. Cool. After a while I guess when they made a Mac client the web client was discontinued. I was force to go back to windows 100 percent of the time. 

I left for several reasons. The first, things had changed. I think just like me we all were working more and playing less. Second, I'm a Linux guy naturally and my windows computer gave out on me so i'm left with my Linux box. If you remember above Linux isn't supported. So I was done.

Then the pandemic happened and in addition for me I lost both my granny in 2018 and my mother in 2021. So I bought a Windows computer for the first time in a longtime. Got on pal and figure I'd have some fun while I was going through everything. 

 

Well the experience wasn't but I never expected it to be 2005-08. I got in a room and tried to DJ. Things are different now that all the streaming is available. You really don't need to own music. But I am a DJ so you really can't blend streamed music. It was a so so venture. I had issues with configuration, sound on windows and everything else. I got tired of it and stopped. 

Now I'm back on Linux, tired of the 4 month adventure back into the world of Windows. So I though about using Bottles which is a application on Linux to allow you to run Windows programs. Its mainly for gaming but hey Paltalk is kinda gaming. So I gave it a try. It actually worked. I got in a room, could chat, could do a lot of things, I really didn't care for the extras anyway I was just there to listen to the DJs and talk to the people. 

I should have been more careful. As I know the red names are all over the place. But I typed in the room I got paltalk to work on linux its nice. 

 

Well today I logged on and now it doesn't work. I can say it was something in th software, I could say they reported me and now I'm restricted somehow. 

I was told back some time ago from a technician on paltalk that they don't support people that use VMs or other means to run paltalk because they cheat the system to get paid access. I take that comment with a grain of salt. You telling me Paltalk loses that much money on that to the point you cut off every Linux user and force them to run an operating system they normally don't. Well if my VM that I'm making doesn't work. I guess Paltalk will be gone from me again and the 60 dollars a year I pay to keep my subscription does also. It funny that one program forces you to either be Mac, Windows or android to even take part in it. SMH....Holla paltalk. 

The stuff Facebook implements is irritating.

 I tell you Facebook comes up with knee-jerk things for people that just cause more problems. Now that people can lock their profiles. As an administrator of several groups, how can you manage requests to join? I'm not gonna just let everyone in and then have to play defense and watch every post, then when I see an offending post kick them out. That's too much like work. These are supposed to be social groups. They are supposed to be fun. UGH. The funny thing is that locking your profile only works if you don't add the fake to your friend's list and that's how they operate to get around you filtering what info you set as public and making it friends only, which you could do before they allowed profile blocking. SMH, if I say anything else I'm really thinking I'll be in FB Jail. Let me shut up.

Follow You Instincts

I tell you sometimes you just have to follow your instincts. God gave you this gift to perceive things before they happen. But you let your life and the things in it get in the way.

I've been driving around in my car for 2 weeks with my instincts telling me to go to the mechanic, not just because it's time for an oil change but something strange was going on and I knew I needed to go in.

I kept riding until 4 days ago I had to jump my car on the first run of the morning on a cold day. It worked fine all day after that, no problem. It sat out in the frigid cold for two days. It didn't start on the first start again...oh I'l just jump it again cause it's probably cause its cold out here. Cause I'm worried about where I had to go and what i had to do more than the fact that the car was telling me something, matter of fact it was screaming at me.

I started it today went to the mechanic but of course it's the afternoon and you know he is packed. So I tell him I'll come back if he is open tomorrow. Then I go out start the car and drive to the store. I'm two block from my house I'll just run in and get a few things. I come back out.....won't start. God blessed my ignorant ass with a kind lady that gave me a jump so I can get home.

So the next time your instincts speak to you, listen and heed its call.

How I felt about the Tribune article on Bowen

Well when I first looked, I saw it was front page. Second I looked at that horrible picture I took. Black hoodie with my hood up looking slightly thuggish. I thought why the hell didn't i take off the hood from the beginning but the photographer had been talking to me and I was kinda comfortable so when he was ready to take pictures, it was cold that day and I just didn't take my hood down right away. So the pictures at the beginning he took weren't that way. They just decided to use that one....the one I hate now that I see it on the front page of the Tribune.

Second the quote they used. Yeah I said that in the midst of the conversation, but really? Use that one. I said plenty of other things that were much more significant than that. Reading on further in the article I got why they selected this quote for the article.

So now I'm reading the article. Yes, while it's factually correct. It missed the real point why Bowen has fallen into the situation it is in. First they blanked all the school into the situation of "they" (CPS) has put all this money and made these changes and nothing has worked. I beg to differ, look at the stats a little closer. As said in the article by Ms Kirmes, former principal. The school got a grant for two years and she instituted some programs that really helped the school. It would have continued to help the school if after those two years that money was still there. But of course with the money gone the programs were cut. The budget of Bowen has been cut every year and the principal no matter who it was had to cut programs, teachers and ultimately the school newspaper the voice of the students. So the problem isn't they gave money and nothing happens it's more like they cut the money and forced the principal to cut to be able to manage. Does that happen at the top CPS schools?

Another thing the article missed what the fact that the building isn't properly maintained. A dead tree, dirt in the gutters so long that plants started to grow out of it. Shingles coming off a roof that was supposedly done 5 years ago. Painting and rehab needed on the interior of the school and the biggest one for me no pool. Yes the pool has been serving as a storage area since before the school was restored from the four school campus. You can't tell me that students can succesful in an environment like this. Again this doesn't happen in the top CPS schools does it?

There was a mention of the charter school that is now in the annex building but the real disruption it caused wasn't fully addressed. When I was "shocked", it was because there was no warning from CPS. They just did it over the summer, took the school marquee and decided that Bowen wasn't significant. Since I am a board member of the alumni association and was helping the football coaches by mentoring the athletes. I had alums and friends ask me was Bowen closed. I was answering question for a while. The whole thing put people into the thought that CPS wants Bowen closed and they have made a choice to allow Baker to take its place. I couldn't get any support from alums who thought everything is doomed and "they are gonna do what they wanna".

Every quote that's in the article frame the author's attitude of oh poor Bowen. I got that sense when I talked to her. We don't need sympathy, we need a voice to speak up and say something about the conditions the principal, staff, supporters, parents and students are put through to support Bowen. But this article speaks from the outside and doesn't give voice to anyone inside. This right here makes me more determined to get the Bowen Arrow back going. These students need their voice back. because if this is what we get, if this is the story that is told then it appears to people we ARE doomed.