I tried to make this not be a novel. Hopefully its insightful. It turned out to be more than a state of since I had to go back and give context.
After I watched the state of the union I had an idea. I would do the state of me. Why you might ask. Well those who are really close to me know I'm guarded. It was something taught to me by my grandmother. It has its benefits and its drawbacks. Right now for me the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
The benefits it keeps people that shouldn't be in your business out of it. It's different for each of us. For me its the talkers that go around talking about what's bad that's going on in your life but never anything good. So other's that talk to them have the impression that you live in chaos. You might say, I don't care what other people thing. That's not the point. You get a lot of flack you just don't want in your life. So that's one benefit my granny showed me because he had examples of it around us.
The drawbacks I'm living through right now. Most people thing I'm doing fine. I'm not. I'm broke, unemployed, behind on my mortgage and about to be behind on my utilities this month for the first time. The firs thing you might thing is, there are programs out here to help. Already in the one for the mortgage and its paper hell that I haven't gotten pass yet. My utilities you know you have to be behind to get in any one of these programs so I don't qualify until after these due dates.
Jobs, I've been applying to jobs since June. The one thing I noticed is that employers are posting the same job over and over. They will post it in June then take it down after about 6 weeks, then post it again in maybe October, then do the same. Never even looking at applications. One good thing about Indeed and Glassdoor is that you are notified when employers look at you application. The majority of my applications never get looked at once. Those are the companies that are only putting out feelers. So don't believe in that resent jobs report those numbers aren't accurate. Back to my situation, the jobs I do get interviews with I feel go good then I reflect on it later and realized things. Like I was interviewing with Eastlake, the guy that interview me wasn't the hiring manager or hr. It was a guy they just hired in the same department I'm applying for the job. In the interview he exposed something about the company in a form of a what would I do in this scenario. I think he was looking at my reaction to it more than my solution. The scenario seemed common but when he revealed what was wrong it wasn't. For all my techies reading this they don't use DHCP so they assigned themselves addresses. In laymen. You turn on you computer. it goes out and gets an address from a server and sets your computer to that address so you can access the internet. Well in Eastlake that serve doesn't exist. So my reaction was wow. I held what I thought in my head that this office is in the stone age. But I did mention there is a lot of thoughts going on in my head but hey I can deal with that. So you think my reaction might have been negative? Do you think I didn't get the job because I was being interviewed by a peer? Dunno myself.
You might say hey, you got a IT services/consulting business. Aren't you making money there? The simple answer is no. When my granny decided to stop dialysis and went into the hospice, then my mother got sick and went into the hospital in December of 2018. I shut down my business as I couldn't manage it and this situation at the same time. During that time I had great people step up and help me. My mother's good friend Rita, my best friend Dawud, and several of my mother's former coworkers in the department of health. Especially Tanya, if it wasn't for her and the physical therapist at the hospital I would have had a problem with that hospital and how they were treating my mother. Tanya being on the phone in the Tuesday meetings with the doctors stopped them from using hard medical terms to talk over me. The therapist showed me something that looked like they were trying to say my mother didn't have all her facilities. But of course I can't say for sure but it looked like it. But I'm was happy to get her back home the day after her birthday in 2019.
After she got home I still didn't go back into business. I was her full time caregiver. I felt I couldn't go back and not be here since she was in a wheelchair. I didn't have anyone that was willing to come over if I did get a job or went back into my business. So I stayed home.
We get to December 2021, we had discussion on what I wanted to do after her death. It's a discussion a lot of people avoid, not us. She was concerned how I would live after she was gone for several reasons. One, when I started my business she was my sole angel investor. She got my off the ground and kept my skeleton services like my domain, my mailing address at University CoWork and my Google Workspaces going during the pause.
So we talked and I wasn't sure. There was the issue of the house and if I wanted to keep it or sell it. I waffled back and forth. I want to stay in this community, Its probably the reason I never lived in any other part of Chicago. Then you look at this old house that was built around 1890. The upkeep on a house like this is harder and condition its in right now I need to rehab it. So in the middle of those discussions she passed away.
Now I have decided to stay. Right now I'm still applying for jobs. I've also joined the Polsky Exchange in Hyde Park to seek assistance with my business. I'm re-engaging with University CoWork a source of help for me in the past. I'm in the process of looking at financial assistance from the SBA.
With all that is going on its hard to focus. I slip on certain things, I'm in this constant paper hell. Also I have situations I know I did what people asked me but they claimed I didn't. I feel sometimes I need an assistant to help me keep this in order. There is light at the end of the tunnel I'm just trying to keep working towards it. Its kinda the reason I reached out on Facebook before asking people to hang out with me. The one thing that helps me out the most is being around people. Just me and Adora my cat isn't good for me or her. I find she is just like me. When people come by she greets them. We are alike in that sense.
One last thing I know this read is LONG. I recently put out a t-shirt shop. That is my way of trying to finance myself in the short term and also those shirts help me if you wear them out. Yes advertising. I'm sure you knew that. So I would appreciate you buying a t-shirt. https://www.bonfire.com/store/litzsey-tech-services/ Also if your a home, home office or business user looking for a IT solution you can schedule a consultation with me. Appointment with me I hope to hear from you soon.
